Halloween II

i remember wanting to be
michael myers
because then i woulnd't
have to speak.

i remember
it being so cold
in buffalo
on halloween
that we had to
wear our costumes
under our
winter coats
and snow pants.

i remember going
as a kurt cobain
in high school.

i remember halloweeen
sex always
being rather
violating.

i remember the excitement
of halloween decorations
as a child:
the frankenstein's monster
with moveable
joints hanging from
the bathroom door
the witch's head
peering out
the front window
the skeleton
with moveable
joints hanging from
the high foyeur ceiling.

i always remember
getting super
excited
for the new episodes
of Roseanne
and because of the
halloween specials:

Dan pretending to have cut
his hand fake
blood everywhere

Jackie's head on a platter

Roseanne always
decidedly
The Master.

i also remember watching
the episode where dan,
jackie, and roseanne
find a tin of old dope,

and watching it
laughing at it
wondering if
my father
could decipher my
laughter as experience.

i remember always
being afraid
and not wanting
to be afraid
anymore.

Halloween

i remember reading andy peterson's
i remember horror poems
remembering that my
first experience
with a woman
happened
during the shower scene in Psycho.

i remember waking up
on Halloween
with a bloody nose
and thinking it
a fine preface.

i remember celebrating
the completion
of Casual Encounters
on Halloween day.

i remember dressing
up as a bat.

i remember dressing
up as an old man.

i remember dressing
up as superman
with bulge.

i remember dressing
up as a woman
in heels.

i remember dressing
up as a ninja
or more notably as
Karate Kid.

i remember dressing
up as a dead poet
and a dead poet
looking much
like me but with
makeup.

i remember
dressing up as
a robot.

i remember a friend
dressing up
as me.

i remember the leaves
streaming across the street
and always looking for
michael myers.

for.memory

i remember forgetting
i started
this blog.

Comfort #8 & #9

Here hope is a fragment of memory
and fantasy. One responds to the
impossible determinant. I am only a
number confined to remnants of
humanism. I have difficulty eating
without assistance. I have a drug
problem. I’ve had run-ins with the
law. You are so kind to take me.
Give me a chance. Give me a toilet for
piss and shit and vomit by chance.
The movement of bodies in space, the
tenement dancers subtracted to a
rubbish heap of laughter. You’re so
convincing and you sleep with me
quickly. Only the meaning and frame
are referenced. Draw the line of
failure.



I am writing to you but it’s too late.
Barely tolerated, ushered out, and still
stray into body. When do humans
become monsters? Shut my face
against love’s constructivism. Admire
space faultily smooth. There are no
more kisses stitched into goodnights.
Your jewels and dressing gowns are
animal backs. It was pleasant to
imagine them as immeasurable thrums
and kicks. There is no opposite of life
only loneliness in landscape.

Post ReGoonion II

i remember tim drawing
a penis in snow
on my rear
window
and a heart
on my
dash-

and arm restling
for a barbie
radio
holding a barbie
radio between
our tethered
grip.

i remember loving
when andy
laughs

how he always
presses me
to read

and unassumingly
writes better
than any
of us.

and i remember jared
continually throwing
imaginary semen
in my face

using words i'll
never need
to know
as long as
i have
him
around
and nod
assuredly.

i remember him
calling me
a fiction
writer
and me
not quite sure
how to take it.

i remember celeste
out of
nowhere

and liz riding a wild
horse,
which sadly
never happened.

and jane chewing gum
while her words
wrapped me
in Cellophane

and jonah...a comic book
used to
swat flies.

Post Re-Goonion

i remember hugging jared
remembering hugging
jared goodbye
the first time we
said goodbye, remember?

i remember being so tired of artistic conversation
after &NOW and getting
into it deeply
anyway
on an empty tank.

i remeber asking her
about sexual
figures
and her
saying
a celebrated, and dripping
pussy is freedom

and thinking her
more beautiful
than ever.

I remember new books:
the carcasses,
babyfucker,
bloomdido,
the importance of being iceland
and grendel.

15

i remember getting busted
by a mailman
my hand
up the skirt
of a Narden girl.

i remember
thinking
doc martin's
would last forever.

i remember being a clerk
at Red Apple
when someone told me
i resembled Trey
and my night
going more smoothly
from then on.

i remember another
customer
suggesting i bed sisters
because "everyone outta have
sisters at least once"

and never having
sisters
once.

i remember making love
to Bjork's
Homogenic:

dragging down
her baby
blue straps
exposing her
tiny breasts

before kissing
her belly

her goosebumped body
standing before me
young and
unpredictable.

i remember disposing
of condoms in
sewer vents on
midnight walks home.

i remember smoking
cigarettes at
Perkins Family
Restaurant believing
i would be
the next.