Halloween II

i remember wanting to be
michael myers
because then i woulnd't
have to speak.

i remember
it being so cold
in buffalo
on halloween
that we had to
wear our costumes
under our
winter coats
and snow pants.

i remember going
as a kurt cobain
in high school.

i remember halloweeen
sex always
being rather
violating.

i remember the excitement
of halloween decorations
as a child:
the frankenstein's monster
with moveable
joints hanging from
the bathroom door
the witch's head
peering out
the front window
the skeleton
with moveable
joints hanging from
the high foyeur ceiling.

i always remember
getting super
excited
for the new episodes
of Roseanne
and because of the
halloween specials:

Dan pretending to have cut
his hand fake
blood everywhere

Jackie's head on a platter

Roseanne always
decidedly
The Master.

i also remember watching
the episode where dan,
jackie, and roseanne
find a tin of old dope,

and watching it
laughing at it
wondering if
my father
could decipher my
laughter as experience.

i remember always
being afraid
and not wanting
to be afraid
anymore.