i remember

i remember thinking the eiffel tower
would market well
as a dildo.

i remember my wife's red sash
on her wedding dress
and watching
our wedding video
on the year anniversary
of our divorce.

i also remember her wanting
to watch jeopardy on
our wedding night.

i remember macaroni and cheese and green beans.

i remember running face first
into a 2 x 4
during a game of chase.

i remember my third grade
teacher mrs. domaracki
telling me
i looked
intelligent in glasses.

i also remember her
teaching us
cursive by drawing animals.

i remember my
speech pathologist looking like a real
live Gargamel that over time
became Billy Collins.

i remember smoking a joint
at northeastern university
arguing over ron padgett.

i remember being caught
in the rain with andy
and jared
worrying about my shoes.

i remember a black boy blocking
my shot before the basketball
even left my fingertips.

i remember living in my younger
brother's house writing
this poem.

i remember promising myself
that i would never cry
over a woman
two women back.

i remember wanting to be eileen myles with a beard.

i remember hearing bob dylan
for the first time
listening to a chainsaw
become a waterfall.

i remember lineage
having too many pages.

i remember washing the dishes.
i remember washing the dishes
a meditative
and ill repressed game.

i remember farting hard
enough to change
two
pairs of underwear
in thirty minutes.

i remember listening to
zooery daschunel
singing thinking
her voice
could get me
off.

i remember listening to
fiona apple
singing thinking
her voice
did
get me off.
i remember the first time
i touched
a vagina
and jabba's tongue
strangely being what entered
my mind.

i remember never having
enough
but always
just
enough.

i often consider
one morning,
two mornings
from now.

anticipating a fried fish
dinner i sliced
the tip
of my thumb
into a rubber glove.

i remember secretly liking
to sniff
women's underwear
and my fingers after
cleaning lint from between
my toes...and occasionally
from between
my cheeks.

i remember trying
to impress
another poet
when i was 22
and then never again.